She waits. She waits for him. Standing there in the cold, lacking warmth. No blankets could fulfill the warmth that she needs. As she peers through the window, she begins to burn from the inside out. Her heart was on fire as she sees him. From the outside of his heart, she sees him. By a fire, warm with love with his new family. The ones that she was replaced by, as she stands, locked out side of his heart. Waiting, waiting, anticipating the moment when he'll open the locks and reach for her with caring, loving and outstretched arms. She waits.
There is a small child. She looks up at her father with the same glistening blue eyes as he has, admiring his strength, personality, love - and in one brief moment, there is a connection between them, a connection, that is unbreakable.
When she was young, she used to be daddy's little girl. To him, she did no wrong. The love they shared was amazing. It was relationship that some people would only ever dream of having. But as time moved on, that relationship began to change. It started when he moved out, to be closer to work. Then he slowly began to visit only twice a week... only once a week, down to the occasional phone call. They began to drift apart.
More years pass and her parents break up and her father, within less that 2 weeks of him leaving, her father was engaged to another woman and had unofficially adopted her children as his very own. She is no longer his responsibility; he feels that his new children now come first. She is lost, confused. She is disappointed. She is hurt and she now feels disposable. That same girl, 5 years on, now a young lady, again looks up at her father with the same glistening blue eyes as he has, with the same love and hope as before, but this time she sees something different. She sees an immature, cowardly and irresponsible man. Her heart breaks to know that the man she once knew as her hero, her father, the man that accepted her as his responsibility, can throw all her loving thoughts of him away in an instance, with one word, with one action.
To feel that he has disposed of her. A disposable responsibility, like unfinished business that he couldn't be bothered seeing through... to be rejected by someone you love so much. That man will never be seen the same through those glistening blue eyes. She sees him there, he seems familiarly but yet, completely unknown to her.
Her aching heart continually increases every time she is reminded of his mistakes, his new family and his new life. She is left struggling for attention, continually pushing and craving for that fatherly love that is not longer there. Although she is not alone, with a wonderful family, the one thing that she needs for her life to feel complete, is the one simple ting that her arms are too short to reach.
She cries, but he doesn't hear her. She reaches for him, but he pulls away. She speaks, but his ears won't listen.
The aching in her heart continually increases every time she is reminded of his mistakes and his new family. But you see, he doesn't see wrong in his actions. To him, he has done nothing hurtful, spiteful or unforgivable. His conscious doesn't tell him when he is hurting her. He does not understand how she us unforgiving of his decisions. She wants him. He doesn't want her. She wants his love. He doesn't understand.
That girl will never see her father the same again. She will never feel the same towards him again. She will never be strong enough to rebuild that unbreakable connection with him.
She waits. She waits. The fire inside burns out and she can see the family sleeping, dreaming beautiful, sweet dreams. As the last of the coal burns to dust, she stands there. Locked outside hid heart, waiting and waiting. Forever waiting and anticipating the moment when he'll open the locks and reach for her with caring, loving and outstretched arms. She will wait.
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